SaidNoopur

Respected Sir,

I first saw you at the Ajmer Literature Festival just over ten years ago. I recall being intrigued by the group wearing yellow dupattas and white kurtas as I stood in the audience. When I inquired, the organizer explained that this was the Kalankur Rangmandal team getting ready for their performance that day. The idea of seeing my first play outside of school excited me.

I first saw you leading your team with such clarity and patience at that very moment. I was encouraged to go talk to you by the organizer, who mentioned that you were the director. Would it be possible for me to join your theater group? But I didn’t have the guts to speak up. I later looked up Kalankur Rangmandal online and discovered that a new production was holding auditions. After expressing interest, I received an invitation to Mathur Sir’s house, where the adventure really started.

I can still clearly remember that day. I sat down quietly, and there were about a dozen people sitting with scripts in hand. I was also given a script when the practice started. Speaking to her husband, the King, I played the part of Rani Karmavati. The room burst into laughter before I had even finished one line. I was initially anxious, even a little scared. I soon understood, though, that the laughter was a result of recognition. The group had been looking for a powerful and believable queen for a while. They thought they had found her in that instant. I noticed a soft smile on your face when I looked up. The blink of your eyes made the smile a little deeper. I’ve carried that silent encouragement and expression of satisfaction with me ever since. You still make me think of that first meeting every time you smile in that way.

I’ve realized over the years that your smile conveyed much more than just warmth. It was an implicit guarantee. It was a loving gesture. It served as a reminder that everything would work out. Your belief that theater is genuine entertainment rather than just a performance has served as my compass. It can only make other people happy when it is done with genuine joy. This conviction keeps me motivated during every practice, every show, and beyond.

Your statement that “life has so much more ahead” is equally profound. It’s not just the people who have shared their stories and poems with you thus far. You will experience many more. However, never allow anyone to demoralize you, not in life or in love. These words continue to be my anchor. They never fail to remind me that there are still countless opportunities in life. There’s a lot to see, learn, and do.

One of the greatest blessings in my life has been having you as my guru since 2014. I can categorically state that the most valuable years of my journey to date have been those spent with you. I last saw you before my move to Canada in 2021. I was a long way from home when you left us all a year later. I still can’t get over the silence the news left me in.

You are missed, sir. Your insight, your direction, your steadfast assistance, and most importantly, your smile. Once giving me strength and courage, that smile is now only in my memory. But it still illuminates my way even when I’m not there. You might not be here to personally lead us anymore. Yet, your presence lingers in every lesson you taught. It remains in every heart you touched and every story you told.

There isn’t a director to guide the group on stage now that curtain call has arrived. However, I hope you’re content wherever you are. You are keeping an eye on us and directing us. That soft smile of yours still gives us courage.

You’re still here for me. You’re still my mentor. You are both my strength and my mentor. You only live in inspiration and remembrance now. I still search for your smile in the quiet places where you are.

With utmost reverence, affection, and unending appreciation, the girl you took in under the shade of your guidance
Noopur