We all remember those moments. Dads screaming at our Moms, and she brushing it off as “it’s okay.” It never was okay. And don’t we remember how the same actions were never “okay” when she did them back? Don’t we remember being told to simply “avoid it” when someone teased us on the streets of our hometown? We do. Even when we try to forget, there are always people who remind us. They remind us what is broken in our society. They show us how deep those cracks run.
Most of us have either closely experienced or at least observed misogyny and body shaming. But what worsens it, what makes it sting sharper, is that it comes not from men but from women themselves.
I recall that the other day I was leaving a shopping mall in my hometown accompanied by my best friend. She is petite and vibrant. She is luminous in her own unique manner. Her gait consistently brings a smile to my face. As a woman approached us, we thought she might be asking for directions. But instead, with piercing bluntness, she turned to my friend and asked, “Aren’t you unhappy with your fat?”
We froze. My friend, shocked, managed only a baffled “What?” before the woman continued. She said my friend looked like someone who was struggling to keep up with others. She was “too weighed down” to fit in. The audacity, the sharpness in her voice. It stunned me. I only imagine the hurt, the anger, and the disbelief my friend felt in that moment.
But before I could react, my best friend calmly said, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not who you’ve described. I’m happy in my skin. And honestly, your description is the worst way to sell a product. Have a good day, and I hope you save yourself from any embarrassment caused by your words.”
Her grace in that moment floored me. Where I wanted to unleash anger, she responded with dignity. Later, as we talked, she said something that stayed with me:
“This happens so casually to almost every woman I know. Women face more than just harassment, mistreatment, provocation, or eve-teasing. They are also body-shamed. Often, this is not by strangers but by other women who think they know better.”
That cut deeper than anything. Misogyny is not just a weapon wielded by men. It’s reinforced, recycled, and carried forward by women against women, knowingly or unknowingly.
The time to right these wrongs is long overdue. Women don’t need to be “uplifted” or “empowered.” They always were, and always will be, equal. What needs to change is the mindset that pits them against each other. The casual cruelty is often passed off as “concern.” The silence lets it continue.
It’s not about women needing strength. It’s about the world finally recognizing they have had it all along.
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